Why do I feel so alone and frustrated with myself? It’s rubbish

Why to I feel so lonely and frustrated with myself, this is rubbish

Yesterday I woke up and new that it was going to be a good day

Toby came round in the morning and we had some smokes

Abbi came round in the evening and we watched the rest of the dreamers. I was really horny and I gave her a back massage and things kind of escalated haha.

I then said we should fuck and with a little persuasion she agreed

So we did it and I walked her home afterwards
I’m happy I lost it to her, even though I we’re not in a relationship any more.

I’m not expecting anything, though I would like to do it again aha

31 July 12

Tuesday, 20:46

Ryan and Innes came round this morning and we had some smoke, got high and watched Pulp Fiction (well, some of it anyway). 
My head still hurts from falling off the tree the other day when I was at Browndown with Rory and a load of people.

I talked to Abbi today on facebook, 2 weeks till I can see her again.

I go on holiday next monday to Porto Santo, I cant wait! 

25 July 12

Wednesday 02:03

On Tuesday I woke up and went on a boat ride with my Mum, Tom, Albananas my Mum’s friend, Mickey.

We boated around the hardway and dockyard.

I really need to stop being lazy, tomorrow I’ll write Anna’s letter, meditate, exercise, read and go on a bike rise.

Billys coming over tomorrow and then I might go to a party in lee with Summer in the evening.

I must see James soon, and Peta, I’ve not seen them in a while.

Missing Abbi, I hope she’s having a great time in morroco

23 July 12 

Monday, 23:30

So I’ve decided to start a personal blog where I’ll write everything down - with a password of course.
Today I got up about 11 and Rob came round. 

As we were rolling up in my garage, a policeman knocks on the door. My Mum; the good homeowner, lets the “nice gentleman” in. The copper started talking to me and Tom about how we were named as people going in Callum’s Mum’s room the night before at his party. Apparently someone said that we may have stolen his Mum’s jewellery even though we left very early before everyone came back and trashed the place.

After we finished talking to the copper we went back in the garage and had a nice little smoke and chilled for a while; lazing around in the garage. 

Jack came round a bit later and got smoke and we chilled in the garage listening to The Wall and Nirvana then pranked called Liam with the songs playing though the mic.

I went back inside and chilled out for the rest of the day, talking to people on facebook and just wasting the day away.

I need to get out and do something productive, lazing around getting high for most of the day, most days is fun - but it drains me.

Overall I’ve had a fairly good day, however the next few weeks are going to be long; it’s going to be strange not seeing Abbi for a while.